I know why I’m a still a virgin. I know why I will probably be one for the rest of my life. I know why I said no to the man I thought I loved. I know why I refuse to find a real boyfriend and why I can’t be happy in a relationship.
I’m trying to make for the time when I didn’t say no.
I didn’t say anything when I was molested repeatedly as a child. I took it, and sometimes it felt good. Other times it hurt. Now I finally realize, at 2 am while trying to fall asleep, why I can’t say yes. Guilt is the only thing that drives me in life. Guilt and Fear.