Tag Archives: pms

Oh hey, PMS, it’s been a while.

I actually managed to go a few months without turning in to a psychopath before my period.  Yay.  It also came way earlier than it should have each time, so I guess there wasn’t any time for PMS to kick in.  Now, I’m late again and the past 4 days have been horrible.  I’m anxious, nauseous, skittish and incredibly bitchy and mean to everyone.  It’s not intentional and I hate that I can’t control it.  My normal sarcasm and mean-in-a-fun-way has just turned to mean and angry 😦  I want both to lash out at everything and curl into a ball and hide.

I want to blame the gyno exam I had last week.  After 6 years I finally went back to my doctor for a physical and I didn’t bother arguing with the gyno stuff.  The doctor just assumed I need the tests and only after the fact did she ask if I was or ever sexually active.  It’s really difficult to answer when you want to throw up from the speculum.  Don’t they have teen sizes they could use for people like me?

I said everything was fine, since up until now, things have been.  Now if this keeps up, I’ll have to go back and somehow explain my mental issues related to PMS.  Why can’t it just be a physical problem and I could put a bandaid on it?  Why do I have to sound like a crazy person and explain the crazy.  They didn’t even believe me last time when I got anxiety and paranoia from the hormones.  At least this blog seems to document the issues I have.  I would forget month to month if I didn’t write it down.

I hope this ends soon.  I sat in front of my computer at work for a solid 6 hours and accomplished nothing.  I hate being a girl sometimes.

Oh, sorry to any boy readers.  If you wonder why a girl is randomly crazy for a few days, it’s not her fault and she hates it as much as you do.

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PMS turns me into a sleepy bitch

Sure, growing up I could go 6-8 weeks without it and not even have PMS, but now I’m older I am like clockwork (How do I know?  I have an app on my phone to keep track.  That’s how obsessive I am).  Now every 3.5 weeks, I just get super annoyed/angry and will lash out at anyone who looks at me the wrong way.  I’m shaky and paranoid and super anxious.  I brought this up to my doctor when I first transferred to him, but he passed it off as seasonal affected disorder.  Great, I get why I’m worse in the winter, but giving it a different name does not make it go away.  I just passed out on the living room floor because I’m so exhausted.  Now I’m cold and can’t get the warmth to return to my fingers.  God, I just want to hit something but I’m too tired.  So the weekend should be fun, since my period will actually start then.  Then I’ll be incapacitated for 2 days.  My mom is sick of hearing about me whine about it, but she’ll be just as mean if I’m asleep for two days straight and not tell her.  She thinks I’m faking, so I can get out of doing things.  She doesn’t understand what I go through every month.  I’ve wanted to get a hysterectomy since I was 12, just so I wouldn’t have to go through it.  My stomach is starting to hurt already.

When I go down, I go down hard

Dammit, I can’t win.  The minute I start to feel happy, I enter one of  the most acute  debilitating depressions I’ve ever been in.  I’ve spent the last two days on a couch, sleeping.  When I could move around, it would be for 2 hours and I could feel every muscle in my body.  I would also randomly cry.  It’s not fair.  This is why I’m so pessimistic.  Life was ok and then I get shot back down.

I had to cancel plans with The Boy this weekend.  I hate doing it, but it would have been horrible.  I started bitching at him on friday, so I know I should stay away until this goes away.  My friend also wanted to come out with me but I didn’t have the energy to handle her.  I want to be normal and healthy.

I’m hoping this is just extreme pms.  I’ve been on hormones before to regulate the physical side of things, but the pills made me gain weight and incredibly anxious and jumpy.  Doctors blamed the weather, and told me to just get some exercise.  I want to be stable.