Tag Archives: loss

Goodbye My Friend

I had to put down my cat yesterday. My mom called me out of work to say he wasn’t feeling well. he’s 18, on a couple medications and has had bouts of not feeling well before. I thought it was just going to be an ear infection or something we could deal with. After the blood work came back we really didn’t have much choice. he had too many issues and the treatments were worse than the disease.
I completely lost it in the exam room. I’ve had him most of my life. I knew this would happen soon, but I was not prepared for it yesterday. And now I’m not even sure what to do with myself. When I lose a pet, I’ve always had other ones that needed to be cared for. He was the last one of the pets I had since I was born.
To make it worse, the vet was a total asshole to me and my mom, asking, “why are you giving him this?” or “why do you think he has cancer? He was never tested”. You asshole, your vet hospital told us this. Your hospital gave us the medications. He changed his attitude once he figured out my cat was dying, but that really didn’t help my stress level.

Goodbye my boy. I love you.

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How can I (with audio)

 I will be the first to tell you that I should not quit my day job to become a musician.  With that in mind, there is some level of peace and catharsis I achieve when I play.

With that in mind, this is the song I wrote about my cousin after he died.  It’s my first and last “complete” song.  I have bits and pieces of other songs written down, but nothing coherent.  For obvious reasons, I don’t sing in front of anyone, but I feel safe sharing it here.

 

I watched you fall around me
Get up and fall again
Blinded by winds of sand
Now I can see your end

How can I face tomorrow
How can I live today
How can I stand beside you
How can I say goodbye

I watched you fall around me
Get up and fall again
This high will bring you down
Now you have reached the end

How can I face tomorrow
How can I live today
How can I stand beside you
How can I say goodbye

How can I…
How can I…

How Can I… (p)

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I watched you fall around me
Get up and fall again
Blinded by winds of sand
Now I can see your end

How can I face tomorrow
How can I live today
How can I stand beside you
How can I say goodbye

I watched you fall around me
Get up and fall again
This high will bring you down
Now you have reached the end

How can I face tomorrow
How can I live today
How can I stand beside you
How can I say goodbye

How can I…
How can I…

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