After a few months of posting, I guess it’s time for a proper “About Me” page.  When I started this blog, I was pretty lost, isolated and suffering from deep seated anxiety and depression.  Writing about my deepest and darkest thoughts help me heal.  After a number of comments and interacting with other blog writers, I’ve gained a sense of community and hope, and knowing I’m not alone in my thoughts has given me an anchor to hold on to when I’m at my darkest and most stressed.

Like the blog title says, I’m a twenty-something female, using this corner of the internet to gain some insight into myself.  I suffer from self diagnosed social anxiety and depression.  Some days are better than others.  Some days I can’t get out of bed.  I want to get better. Writing helps, but I’m still very shy, even on the internet.  I’ll reply to anyone who contacts me, but I’m hesitant to initiate contact.  Please don’t be offended.

You are welcome to comment on anything.  If you want to contact me privately, you can reach me here.  I hope you enjoy your visit to my mind.


My Original “About Me”:

I’ve tried blogging a few times, but I never really got the hang of it.  Never sure what to write.  I didn’t want to expose my thoughts to the world, either they would be too boring or too intimate.

Not this time.

Consider this an experiment in the human psyche.  I will post my thoughts, feelings and vicious observations about myself for the internet to consume.  What drives me, what drives me crazy, everything I think is wrong with me.  I can detach from my real world identity, without fear of pity or disgust or exasperation from my “friends”.  So here you go hive mind.  Feel free to offer advice or tear me apart, or just yell at me to stop being so self centered and needy.

You’d think this sort of thing was meant for a diary, stuffed under a bed somewhere.  I want my thoughts out in the open, where maybe someone will hear me.  Either to help me or maybe I can help someone else, by showing them they aren’t alone in their thoughts.


7 responses to “About

  1. I think it’s normal in your 20’s to feel a little out of sorts with the world especially if you didn’t find value in “society’s plan”. Growing up we’re not really taught to think for ourselves as we find following directions and other people’s plans get us further. I don’t know your exact age and embrace this phase of confusion, but also be curious to the workings of the world around you… not according to other people’s expectations… according to what you value and expect of the world. I think what you’re experiencing happens to everyone… mine hit me when I was 23. Lots of other people it creeps up on them and blows up around 30.

    Here is the bottom-line: The world rewards certain thoughts, behaviors, and actions and it ignores and punishes others. It’s up to us to figure those out.

    It will be all good! Hang in there!


  2. Thank you for the encouraging words. I’m still even assessing what I value and what I want. I’ve spent most of my life conforming to other’s (mostly my family’s) expectations of me. I’m slowing realizing I have to do what makes me happy, but it’s not an easy journey.

  3. We all spent most of our lives conforming others value, ideas, and expectations. If we didn’t conform, we got in trouble. Saying that . . . conformity isn’t all bad… we all come from somewhere.

    We did a study where we assessed 36 of the most productive young and established leaders in our community. They took an assessment that measures how they think, reason, behave, and how they were motivated. The results were pretty interesting, but a few things jumped out at me.

    These leaders had average assertiveness, so they were comfortable taking charge and being led in the right environment. They were higher in sociability, so they were comfortable and enjoyed talking to people. But these last four were the biggest “ahah”. They are low in manageability, so they don’t like being told what to do. They are low in accommodating, so they are not willing to conform simply because the majority says so. They are high in independence, so they like doing things their way and fine being the only one. And finally, they are low in objectivity, which means they make more decisions from their “gut instinct” than they do spending time analyzing tons of data. We are not taught this in school and it’s certainly not rewarded.

    What’s my point?

    If you want to be a secure, confident, and fulfilled adult… the rules have changed and you must figure that out.

    Take a look at my page and see if anything resonates with you. I’d be happy to guide you through some exercises to help you define your passions and articulate and better understand your values. If the experience is beneficial, you can just write about it. You can find my email on the site if you’re interested.

    The world is full of awesome opportunities! Really! You just need to connect with what that means to you!

    Keep your head up! It will happen!


  4. Best of luck! I know how you feel, i’ve been dealing with depression, anxiety and panic attacks for years. And I’ve had my fair share of teen and even 20-something angst. Visit my blog if you want to feel like there are others like you…cause I am and there are. Don’t be shy to reach out!. And writing can be the best therapy. I also just posted about what works for me for anxiety/panic and also many of my methods work for depression too. 🙂

  5. Pingback: Blog for Mental Health 2013 | Angst

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