I can’t take any more stress. I feel like I’m being crushed by a pile of rocks. I just want to lay on the floor in a ball and make it disappear. In fact I was on the floor and crying. I couldn’t sleep until 5am this morning and now I have to be a functioning human being. It’s just too much. I know I don’t handle stress well, but I don’t know what to do. I either don’t have enough skills to do what needs to be done or I’m waiting for other people to do their job. I’m stuck and nothing is getting resolved. I came so close to getting the razor blade out. For that temporary relief. And I had way too strong of an urge to just end it all. I somehow managed to go food shopping and I’m slightly better. Actually accomplishing something helped. I was in a daze the entire time, but I succeeded at something. The urges are just passing now, whenever I start worrying about life again. I have to just ignore it. Once I start thinking about one problem, every other one shows up in my mind as well. I can only block it out. I can’t fix it.
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