Dammit, I can’t win. The minute I start to feel happy, I enter one of the most acute debilitating depressions I’ve ever been in. I’ve spent the last two days on a couch, sleeping. When I could move around, it would be for 2 hours and I could feel every muscle in my body. I would also randomly cry. It’s not fair. This is why I’m so pessimistic. Life was ok and then I get shot back down.
I had to cancel plans with The Boy this weekend. I hate doing it, but it would have been horrible. I started bitching at him on friday, so I know I should stay away until this goes away. My friend also wanted to come out with me but I didn’t have the energy to handle her. I want to be normal and healthy.
I’m hoping this is just extreme pms. I’ve been on hormones before to regulate the physical side of things, but the pills made me gain weight and incredibly anxious and jumpy. Doctors blamed the weather, and told me to just get some exercise. I want to be stable.