During a walk through the hallways, I started thinking about what situations cause me to get anxious. There are many, but not all cause the same level of fear/physical stress. I figured if I write them down, I could find any common themes and maybe find ways to fight the anxiety. Lists make me feel organized.
This may make it to it’s own page eventually, but I thought I’d start with a first cut here.
Situations that always cause anxiety:
- Walking down the hallway
- Answering the front door
- Getting lunch from the large cafeteria
- Areas that are loud
- Returning phone calls
- Watching a show on TV that no one else in the room likes (even if they aren’t watching TV)
- Waiting for someone
- Pretty much any situation where I’m not aware of the expected outcome, or I feel I have no control in directing the interaction.
Sometimes cause anxiety, depending on the environment and people involved:
- Shopping (either for food or generally)
- Ordering takeout/delivery over the phone
- Answering the door to get said food delivery
- Talking to strangers in public (after they approach me, obviously)
- Talking on the phone to people I know
- Getting lunch from the small cafeteria
- Waiting in lines
Situations I feel ok in:
- Being anywhere with S (He’s one person I am always comfortable being with.)
- Being alone (a given, but still a situation)
- Watching TV alone
- Eating alone
Insecure Twenty-Something Seeking Validation 
The last 2 lists are your comfort zone. It does get better. Want to know how?
Well, that’s what I’m hoping this blog will help with. Just by writing things down and organizing my thoughts I can have a better handle on my day-to-day situations.
What do you want to do within the next 24 hours starting now?
Uh, sleep, go to work, eat, and probably find another context-less trolling-like question on my blog?
Example- I’m sitting at my desk, wanting to pick up the phone and call a local agency I’ve never contacted before to introduce a workbook I have written, My intention is to get my foot in the door and possibly have them make a big order. This is all my own operation. But as I reach for the phone, my thoughts are “He/ she is going to bitch me out and say I have no business trying to sell workbooks over the phone. “You’re not good enough. You’re bad.” Right then I have to make a decision. Do I pick up the phone and make a new contact and see what happens one way or another, or do I put the phone down and say Ah screw it” and have one more day kicking myself for not doing what I wanted to do?
Ah, yes, the “just man up and do it” approach to life. Sadly this is last thing people suffering from anxiety and depression want to hear. Our fear isn’t the same as others. The intensity can be beyond imaginable. We want to live our lives, but the thought process is different. The “just do it” approach may help provide perspective, but we generally don’t feel like beating ourselves up over not engaging in a situation that provides a good amount of mental, emotion and physical stress.
I’m just relating to the thought process. It’s something I know a lot about through experience, bot in my own life and with other people in my practice. Nothing more.