Friend: Defintion

The definition of a friend varies person to person. growing up, I also consider my friends the people I saw in school and could talk to on a regular basis. I rarely saw anyone outside of class. I was so naive. I never realized that it takes more than sitting next to someone for 7 hours to become a friend. They were just stuck with me, and were nice to me because the were bored and it would do any good to ignore me for the hell of it. I guess that’s the way to make the best of the situation. I can’t say i ever had a single best friend growing up. Every school year, i would spend my time with typically one person. I never hung out with anyone in the summer months, and the next school year they would inevitably end up in a different class, and I would find someone else to bond to.

I never knew how close two people could become until I met my (now ex) boyfriend back in college.  He gave me the best definition of a friend, and I still go by it today.  He said a friend is someone you can confide in, and be comfortable talking to.  A friend wasn’t based on how often you see them, or how nice they are to you.  Everyone who didn’t fit the description of a friend was an acquaintance.  I’ve had may acquaintances in my lifetime, but I can say I’ve only has 3 friends.  One I see/talk to only a few times a year.  We don’t really have much in common anymore (we met in middle school), but we still get along enough to be supportive of each other.  My only real best friend was my boyfriend.  I was devastated when we broke up, since I lost my only true friend.  I’ve tried to fill the void with someone else, but it’s nowhere near the same.  there are something you can only talk about with someone you’ve been intimate with.

I think another reason I feel compelled to post my problems to the internet, is that I’ve burned my friends out.  Friends are supposed to be there to support you, but I think I’ve just exhausted them with my issues.  Hopefully by posting here I can just let go and be a good friend to those I have left.  and maybe be able to make new ones.  Once I figure out to be a friend…


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